Upcoming Trip to Cedar Point

Urumqi's avatar

I need your help. We have a group of 13 going to Cedar Point next Tuesday and Wednesday. But, I've diligently worked to temper everyone's expectations from "looking forward to it" to "dreading it," explaining that the park will likely:

(1) be out of ice;

(2) inadequately operate magnum;

(3) delay the opening of Steel Vengeance (perhaps even decide not to open it at all);

(4) neglect the care and upkeep of Millennium Force;

(5) close Top Thrill Dragster;

(6) close Gemini;

(7) improperly cook our food;

(8) delay our entrance to the park with inadequate and contrived security;

(9) negligently repair or maintain many/most of its rides;

(10) overcharge for items;

(11) up charge for items;

(12) provide insufficient shade;

(13) supply insufficient building with air conditioning;

(14) restrict our ability to ride;

(15) reduce the size of restraints;

(16) only provide soft drinks;

(17) fail to replace its classic video games;

(18) prohibit us from leaving the park at the end of the day by failing to staff the parking lot properly;

(19) demand that we purchase fast lane or fast lane plus tickets by intentionally under-staffing the park;

(20) restrict our ability to speak with staff (especially customer service) by employing only foreign workers; and

(21) ****ty toilets!

-Have I missed anything? Thanks in advance.


Tall and fast not so much upside down...

Lash's avatar

Add:

(22) No Gold Track!

(23) Bad sound engineer at shows.

(24) Broken Pac Man (Not Mrs. Pac Man but Pac Man).

(25) Don't complain on Pointbuzz their members will make a MEME out of your complaint.

Last edited by Lash,
Dvo's avatar

(26) Fail to enforce the smoking policy, so you'll be living in a cloud of smoke all day

(27) Fail to prevent unauthorized drone flight throughout the park

Good luck enjoying your day; sounds like it's going to be challenging.......... ;)


380 MF laps
Smoking Area Drone Pilot

MrJohnJLewis's avatar

Sounds like your friends should stay home. And those who come, remind them that CP was recently voted the best amusement park on earth

I'd just stay home. It's just too much work having fun there.


To being an "us" for once - instead of a "them"

Urumqi's avatar

I think Chaindog might be on to something...


Tall and fast not so much upside down...

XS NightClub's avatar

I really hope to see this list of things to fix on the whiteboard on Tony’s next Christmas video!!

Urumqi said:
I need your help. We have a group of 13 going to Cedar Point next Tuesday and Wednesday. But, I've diligently worked to temper everyone's expectations from "looking forward to it" to "dreading it," explaining that the park will likely:

(1) be out of ice;

(2) inadequately operate magnum;

(3) delay the opening of Steel Vengeance (perhaps even decide not to open it at all);

(4) neglect the care and upkeep of Millennium Force;

(5) close Top Thrill Dragster;

(6) close Gemini;

(7) improperly cook our food;

(8) delay our entrance to the park with inadequate and contrived security;

(9) negligently repair or maintain many/most of its rides;

(10) overcharge for items;

(11) up charge for items;

(12) provide insufficient shade;

(13) supply insufficient building with air conditioning;

(14) restrict our ability to ride;

(15) reduce the size of restraints;

(16) only provide soft drinks;

(17) fail to replace its classic video games;

(18) prohibit us from leaving the park at the end of the day by failing to staff the parking lot properly;

(19) demand that we purchase fast lane or fast lane plus tickets by intentionally under-staffing the park;

(20) restrict our ability to speak with staff (especially customer service) by employing only foreign workers; and

(21) ****ty toilets!

-Have I missed anything? Thanks in advance.


New for 2024- Wicked Twister Plus

28) fail to let me have a free beer!

jimmyburke's avatar

Wait one minute! I have a rebuttal for #13 and #21.

Sunday was a very toasty & sunny 90 degrees, my son enjoyed some time on the rope play area of Forbidden Frontier. I had the pleasure of "utilizing" one of those restrooms in that area. Not only was it clean, well stocked, roomy, private, but the air conditioning was cranking in that lovely room. I kinda\sorta took my time in that palacial abode.

HeyIsntThatRob?'s avatar

(29) There will be more numerous people in the park because the first three weeks of August are that way.

Sollybeast's avatar

30) Someone in maintenance has an insistence on installing wheels on coaster trains upside down, leading to possible ride downtimes


Proud 5th Liner and CP fan since 1986.

Rusty's avatar

jimmyburke said:

Wait one minute! I have a rebuttal for #13 and #21.

Sunday was a very toasty & sunny 90 degrees, my son enjoyed some time on the rope play area of Forbidden Frontier. I had the pleasure of "utilizing" one of those restrooms in that area. Not only was it clean, well stocked, roomy, private, but the air conditioning was cranking in that lovely room. I kinda\sorta took my time in that palacial abode.

After our first visit to that new attraction and stopping to eat at the food area next to the rope playground, I thought we found another great spot to relax during future visits (in addition to the Trail Tavern when it is open). Then I used the bathroom. When I came out, I told my wife that I had just found my favorite bathroom in the entire park! Sure it might be just a touch out of the way when the need to pee strikes as we depart from the Raptor on a 90 degree day... but it sure beats many of the alternatives!


Proud to have fathered a second generation coaster enthusiast destined to keep me young at heart and riding coasters with a willing partner into my golden years!

Kevinj's avatar

Don't forget

31) The complimentary water cups will be reduced to the the size of a bottle cap.

Last edited by Kevinj,

Promoter of fog.

Kevinj said:
Don't forget

31) The complimentary water cups will be reduced to the the size of a bottle cap.

I am surprised how the water cups have mostly increased across the park and usually if you ask for a big cup they will provide.

Lash's avatar

(32) Longer than normal line waits due to Fastlane users slowing the line.

(33) Dippin Dots/Lemon Chill guys are pretty reliable.

(34) Millennium Force has longer line waits because it's missing the green train.

(35) If you get hit by a wayward cell phone it's like being hit with a cinder block.

Last edited by Lash,
Dvo's avatar

(36) People will be throwing hot sauce packets at you while you ride Steel Vengeance

(37) The "Deplorables" from Detroit will likely be there, ruining everyone's day.


380 MF laps
Smoking Area Drone Pilot

Urumqi's avatar

...wait a minute, we're from Detroit!

Last edited by Urumqi,

Tall and fast not so much upside down...

If you have some time, lets do a meetup, I am sure I could help you get this list up to 100 rather easily.

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