Committed Relationships?

That definitely reminds me of some of the things my roommates did last season that they probably now regret. You can have your "summer of love" at Cedar Point if you want -- there's definitely enough desperate (and more than likely, drunk) folks there to make it an easy possibility -- but I suggest travelling to the Point with your morals and self-respect in tow so you don't end up with more "memories" than you originally bargained for (STDs, children, date-rape...).

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~Lee~

Group Sales ATL '01
Group Sales TL '02
Park Admissions Zone 5 Supervisor '03
Park Admissions Supervisor '04
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"The greatest leaders don't take credit for their actions; they don't have to."

you can only answer that question for yourself bud ;)

you can always quit if it becomes too much of a prob.

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:james
magnum crew 2002
johnny rockets 2003, 2004

Thank you IHeartTC... CP did give me some of the most fondest memories ever and I'm glad I did get to experience working there cause I met some of my best friends while there not to mention my beautiful little girl.

Well Lee the thing is, I don't regret anything that I've ever done at the point. I totally understand what your saying but I figure whats the point of regretting it, I did it and now I have to live with it since you can't change the past. I got one of the greatest gifts at CP and that is my daughter. It's something that I can't take back or even loose and her father is just as much in love with her as I am... He live close to me and he is always here to see her, and when he can't make it he makes sure to call to see how she is. But I know that I got lucky, I could've hooked up with a guy who didn't care like a couple girls that I know did. I just thank god that he didn't disapear after the end of the season like a few people did.

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Challenge Park '01 - '03
"What Ocean is that?"
"Where is the entrance to Cedar Point"

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Millennium Force Girl said:
Jeff, is there something wrong with being in a committed relationship and being college aged? Soon after college, many people get married and start families, is there really a correct age to be committed to someone?

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In my opinion, yes, there is a problem. Half of all marriages fail primarily for two reasons (again, in my opinion). The first is that the individual's expectations and needs in life have not fully developed into indentifiable patterns. You can't expect to "get it" and get someone else at the same time. I'm not sure we can ever figure it out entirely, but certainly we've not made significant strides until our mid-20's at the earlies.

The second issue, which is related, is that you have no frame of reference for what constitutes a "good" relationship. The cruel reality of life is that we learn mostly by making mistakes. You can't get a good sampling of what's out there by being nailed down to one person in the years that are so critical to self-discovery.

That's just my take, of couse, but knowing hundreds of people since the time I started college at age 18, those that have survived and are in thriving relationships did not start those at age 18. Heck, Stephanie and I didn't get married for six years, and we almost didn't survive that.

To your second question, "soon after college" I suppose would be OK, but if you're not going to live together during that time and identify how your own goals fit into the relationship, it's bound to fail. I've seen it happen time and time again. Sure, there are exceptions, I can think of a few, but exceptions don't make the trend.

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Jeff - Webmaster - GTTP - My Blog
Blogs, photo albums - CampusFish
What time does the water show start?

Jeff's point is a good one, but I'd go one step further. It's less about how old you are, and more about how much of yourself you know. Until you understand who you are and what you want, it's really hard to be in a solid, stable, committed relationship. The other important thing to remember is that solid, stable, committed relationships are a conscious and continuous decision.

It's possible for someone in college to be that self-aware and ready to take on a lifetime's commitment. I wasn't, though.

Finally, age and wisdom alone do not ensure that long-distance separations won't result in divorce. My parents were happily married for 20+ years until my father's job took him to the Phillipines. My mother stayed behind with us kids, and the inevitable ensued.

My gut feeling is that if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer. Look for a job closer to home.
*** This post was edited by Brian Noble 3/1/2004 11:19:44 AM ***

I think one problem continues to be that most couples will spend thousands of dollars and put enormous effort into their wedding day, but will put no thought into preparing for every day beyond that through pre-marital counseling.

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Walt Schmidt
Virtual Midway

One of our most cherished wedding gifts is a cross-stitch that reads something like:

The wedding is only the garden gate; the marriage is the garden. Along the path are flowers and weeds. Cherish the flowers and pull the weeds.

I really disagree with Jeff's points. They are somewhat insightful and may apply well to relationships he has seen, but none relies on empirical data. I could insert my own opinions, but I would be making the same mistake.

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Case '07

I've got all the data you want... I've been living it for the 12 years since I transitioned from high school to college. I never thought that I would have divorced friends shortly after college, but I did.

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Jeff - Webmaster - GTTP - My Blog
Blogs, photo albums - CampusFish
What time does the water show start?

um...isn't this guidetothepoint.com? talk about relationships somewhere else...this is for cedar point stuff.

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Brian :-P

Dragster Crew 2004
SuperScrew Crew 2003

Research shows that age is one of the most consistent predictors of marriage success. Currently, the average age of those marrying for the first time is 26. That is higher than it has been in the past. Experts say that it is the reason that there has been a reduction in the divorce rate.

Thanks for your opinion, Brian. If we need another moderator, we'll let you know.

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Walt Schmidt
Virtual Midway

Show me scholarly essays providing empirical data that suggest this is the case, and we agree. Until then, opinions and personal experiences to me are worthless. Unfortunately, I think the answer is that there is no empirical data on this. There may be age-related studies on marriage, but I'm sure none is able to provide data that also considers the emotional health of its participants. So, while I first think you are out of place in making such a strong statement, you also do not have available any data to suggest that you are right.

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CWRU '07

I wasn't giving my opinion. I was repeating what research has shown and what the experts are saying. Apparently, you need a little more concrete evidence.

Read "What Is the Right Age to Get Married?" by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, noted psychologist and marriage counselor.

Also, here are a couple of quotes taken from "Factors Contributing to Increasing Marital Stability in the United States" (Journal of Family Issues. Vol. 23, Page(s) 392-409). It was written by BYU sociologist Tim B. Heaton.

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"If age at marriage had not been increasing, then dissolution rates would be increasing."

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"most of the decline in marital disruption has resulted from a decline in young marriages."

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Now, I don't what kind of proof you're looking for, but that's a strong case. Dr. Warren has counseled thousands of singles and married couples, has done the research, and has seen this stuff first hand. I'd say his "opinion" is pretty valid.

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Walt Schmidt
Virtual Midway
*** This post was edited by Gemini 3/1/2004 9:08:55 PM ***

That and we're older and wiser. :) You'll understand when you're an old man like us.

And Brian, as soon as you start paying for this site you can dictate what we talk about here. Until then, I think you know how much I care about your opinion.

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Jeff - Webmaster - GTTP - My Blog
Blogs, photo albums - CampusFish
What time does the water show start?

I'm not saying you are wrong; I'm simply saying that you base none of your opinions on verifyable data. Any Ph.D. psychologist who writes self-help books and is a speaker in California can also be written off as a weirdo. He also points to no studies, and writes in what good psychologists call "psychobabble."

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CWRU '07

temptation will be everywhere so if you're gonna partake in a summer at cp, you gotta be strong
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Park Admissions-"00"
Park Admissions-"01"
Park Admissions-"02" Atl of Marina Gate
TGI Fridays Server-"03"
Park Admissions-"04" (hopefully i can get back in admissions, i'm through with foods)

We don't need data, Allan, we have experience. You can't understand the value of experience because you essentially don't have any. That's not intended to be an insult. I wasn't any different at your age.

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Jeff - Webmaster - GTTP - My Blog
Blogs, photo albums - CampusFish
What time does the water show start?

Again, I'm not giving my opinion. I'm telling you what the research shows.

He points to no studies? Did you even read the article? When he makes statements such as "social scientists have found that," "a recent study indicates," and "researchers ... conclude", he's making statements based on real data and research. Just because there isn't a web site I can link to with all the data in a nice, neat package doesn't mean these guys are making it up or giving their opinions.

Give one of these experts a call. Maybe they'll FedEx you a copy of their research data.

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Walt Schmidt
Virtual Midway
*** This post was edited by Gemini 3/2/2004 9:22:41 AM ***

I myself feel that there is no age that dictates when is a good time to get married, but rather maturity level. The good average age is just when most people reach a decent maturity level. Some people might get there earlier, and some people might not ever get there. At whatever age you decide to make this kind of commitment, it isn't something that should be rushed into. It requires alot of planing, open communication is a must. The couple in question should seek guidence from marriage counclers and family and whatever religous groups they belong to before hand. If it's not aginst your religion, try living together for at least 4 months beforehand. I know people who married really young and have a wonderfull happy marriage decades later because they went about it the right way. And I also know older people who split rather quickly because they felt they had all the "experience" they needed and didn't go and talk to people about it and seek advice. It all depends on how maturely you handle yourselves and if you both are ready to take a relationship to that level .

Ok I'm done with my lecture now. Hope that was helpfull to someone or at least made someone think.

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Arms down.....Arms down.....Arms down.......Arms down.....Arms down....Arms down...(you think they would get it the first time?!)

2003-TTD-15 Rollbacks-1
2004- Demon Drop

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try living together for at least 4 months beforehand

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Not to throw more gas into the fire, but that isn't necessarily a recipe for success. Here's an interesting article (with citations for the non-believers :) ) that talks about living together before marriage.

Why do I feel like Dr. Phil? :)

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Walt Schmidt
Virtual Midway
*** This post was edited by Gemini 3/2/2004 10:32:54 AM ***